Yet here I am, sitting in my dorm room, about to win my first tournament in the very beginning of 2005. I’ve just won a three-way all-in with JJ and nine players left, transforming my 10BB into a middle-of-the-pack stack that I will eventually propel to victory. I don’t say a word. There are no whoos or screams from me or around me, probably because I’m alone. I am a professional poker player for the first time.
I’m not sure when the public began thinking that being a professional poker player was a glamorous lifestyle and not an isolating one. Our heroes in 2003 included a man with a mullet, too much jewelery and a drinking problem saying “baybee” all the time, and a miserable gremlin that threw cards at the dealers while being referred to as “The Master”—not exactly the best examples of living the life.
It is not a job where you make your own hours, at least not if you’re an MTT specialist. You’re a slave to the schedule: when the recreational player is home and your expected value is greatest. Your most profitable days should be Friday nights, and all of Saturday and Sunday—when all of your friends with “normal” jobs are home from work and want to go out.
Slowly, I’ve lost contact with all of my friends before poker. Our lifestyles are just too different. It takes a very abstract person to understand that you can make a living getting dealt two cards—that your ability to play is so superior than others that an annual income can be earned. The only people that really seem to understand me at this point are other professional poker players.
Poker is a job to me. I wake up everyday at 11am, when any girl, roommate or friend is already a quarter of the way done with their total day. I then get in some exercise on most days and shower before going to my computer at around 1pm. I’ll spend the next 13 hours in front of a screen.
I will answer e-mails regarding coaching, giving and getting advice about hands with other pros, and then watch or make videos. If someone stops by between 5-7pm, they usually have food in tow, because I’m almost always tying up loose ends before I begin playing or coaching at 7pm.
The rest of my night is fully immersed in the poker world. If I’m having a good night, I’ll be up until 3am or 4am. I then do the same thing the next day. I feel no joy when I win—it is relief. Just another notch on the hypothetical belt I wear that tells myself I can continue doing this despite the negative feelings I have towards, it and the mental damage I feel it may be inflicting. I tell myself this is a temporary thing and that the money is too good to leave, and eventually I’ll listen to that inner-voice and get out of it permanently. I am alone. A one-man team whose season never ends, and whose work week is undefined.
I don’t tell new people I meet that I play poker. I don’t want to spend the following 15 minutes disproving their negative misconceptions about the game. Instead, I tell people I’m a struggling businessman trying to get a business off the ground. Before TPE, I was a struggling teacher that couldn’t find a job.
It’s certainly a cop out, but when people hear someone is an accountant or lawyer they automatically think “successful”, but when they hear poker player they think “compulsive gambler.” There are certainly different levels of accountants, lawyers, and poker players, but I am not going to sit at a bar and try to break down those social conceptions. I just want to move on from this question as soon as possible.
Many times, people ask me if they should become a pro, and I always tell them no. While it might seem like the perfect job, there’s is a definite dark side you should consider before you should ever take the plunge into playing full-time.
Poignant & painfully accurate Jon.
Very insightful Wein, well spoken. It is hard to look at your career, whatever it is, and be honest with yourself about it and its prospects. It takes a lot of soul searching and honesty with yourself about it, and how it defines you. I am sure your search will lead you somewhere good.
Oh man, I just quit my job today to play poker online.
just kidding, you pretty much just summed up why I dont play for a living only a hobby for fun money.
<3
Spot on! Well written m8!
deep bud……thx for making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
wow….
you should post this on pocket fives or something, pretty dam insightful
Im your friend Wein. And dont you forget it.
awesome read dude !!
Crybaby
In al seriousness, I could understand that when you play poker for a jobsubstitution it may seem very weird to strangers, but as a student I think it’s a lot better
Nice piece to read anyway
Well the grass is not exactly greener on this side. Every recession I get laid off. The job I have now pays 40% less than the job I had, plusI work 60-70 hour weeks (its a start up). I can’t take vacations as its never a good time so I haven’t seen my kids and grandkids in a year except via Skype. As for poker, my volume is down to a trickle as even when I have time I’m fried.
I would envy the freedom to live half the year in each of the cities my kids live in so the wife could be close to them and not being depressed by being far away as the job market leaves me no choice where I can live
well done
Pretty nice article!
I thought about it. When I first started playing poker four years ago, I would have been damned proud telling everybody who cared how I make my money that I’d make it playing poker.
Times have changed and now I really am eating from my bankroll. But for most people pokerplayer=poor guy who needs help, losing a lot of money gambling online.
So today if someone I do not know well is interested, I’ll tell them I am a student(which I actually am), working in factories during the holidays to pay my bills…
Looking forward for more of these articles, keep it up!
Really makes you think doesn’t it…
very depressing wein, i humbly disagree this is a great job! working a 9-5 job sucks! your not a slave to a schedule because volume in tournies isn’t exactly the most profitable you can afford to take a pretty large amount of time off and still be extremely successful. The reason you put so much volume in is you forget how much you love the game. I’m sure when you take a week or two off you are itching real bad to get back on and play. Not many people can say that about there profession. If this game is making you isolated then ultimately that is your decision.
Enjoyed the article Wein.
That was a tough article to read on a few levels. You’re in a dorm, people are partying and you feel you’re a slave to poker. But that’s a personal choice, Jon. You CAN choose to chill out for a weekend.
But YOU choose not to.
Everyone here who is not one of the TPE pros would give their eyeteeth for your results, remember that.
Though I totally understand that the MTT schedule dictates when it’s best to play and agree that’s tough, there are enough large buy-in MTTs on Stars FTP and UB that begin in the evening within a 2 hr. period that you can certainly limit the amount of tourneys you play. And, remember, the GOAL is to be there eight to 10 hours later with at least $2K in your pocket and a chance to make somewhere between $19K and $70K on a given night!
Additionally, as some other commenters have intimated, you are not making some piddling wage for some corporation that’s making billions – your money is YOURS! I mean, damn, if I had a deep run in the Sunday Millions and a few Nightly big scores, that would easily be enough to sustain me for a year at the very, very least. It should be the same for anyone – unless they are compulsive gamblers or part with too much of their money superfluously.
Finally, as I wrote you in an email, I finding that when I know someone is playing a grip of MTTs at once, I find their attention cannot be equally spread across those tourneys, so they end up playing ABC poker for quite awhile. And that means they’re missing quite a few spots to make moves and chip up even further; those are players I’m beginning to target because they often chuck away a tough hand when they’re looking at 10 others where they have a premium hand on one table deciding how much to extract from villains, on another the just hit a straight on the turn, and on the third they’re deciding whether or not their opponent just hit a flush on the river! So, while that player is folding to me and I just pocketed 600 of their chips, I could care less what else they have going on.
Maybe fewer MTTs at once where you can concentrate on each hand played is a better way to go than playing scads of MTTs where you’re, in essence, accepting that you’ll toss away some money, chalking it up to “variance.”
Jon, this is in no way a condemnation of what you’re doing. I hope you take what I’ve written as thoughts and observations that, perhaps, will spur you to think about solving your present difficulties.
absolutely true, having played pro for the last 4 months I agree with everything you wrote here. I would never tell anyone to go pro even if they were sick good. Thanks for sharing this.
i completely understand this article….poker can be extremely depressing..BUT thats only if you ALLOW it to take over you….if you CHOOSE to alienate yourself from friends and family and stare at a computer for 12 hours a day…then you’re going to find yourself in bad shape; living a very unheatlhy life style…its up to you to create a schedule for yourself that is comfortable and, more importantly, healthy…i recommend not playing at least friday or saturday…you NEED to go out, hang out with your friends, get drunk, get high, or whatever it is that you enjoy doing! you cant let poker take over your life..and the sad thing is, it can become your life sooo easily…i’ve lost track of what day it is all the time! haha…i also reccomend playing some live poker..whether it be in a casino, poker club, or with friends…it’s just social! and will lift up your spirits!
but lets be real here wein, you’re making a shit load of money…well beyond the average salary! (at a time of such economic crisis) AND most importantly, you’re doing something that you love for a living! how many people can say that!? not that many….the majority of this country HATES their job, life, ect…you worked your ass off, practicing and studying the game, and it has rewarded you greatly….so cheer up mate! have a drink! cheers!
-the dude
I agree with all the downsides you mention but you have to weight it up with all the positives. I spent this summer in the south of Spain and just took my laptop , came back with more money than I started with and partied / ate out the whole time. If I had a “normal” job I’d be lucky to get 2 weeks out there and I’d probably have spent at least a few months savings on it. So yeh , look on the bright side I guess
great article. I don’t play for a living but latley have played tons of hours. When it is 4 am and I am playing alone I realize how this can be tough on the body and your mental health cuz their is jy when you win but in between this is a brutal game on other parts of your life. Well played!
Just a spontaneous thought.
Barry Greestein and Phil Ivey knows what brings happiness
to themselves and others.
http://www.barrygreenstein.com/index1.html
Interesting views. I strongly disagree with telling people your a pro poker player. Thats an accomplishment that VERY few people brag about, almost like saying your a rock star, or actor. I am a part time musician as well and I would love to be able to say that i just play my bass for a living. I would almost get the same slander as a poker player, “oh he must party all the time”, bla bla bla bla. Funny thing is when i play i dont drink, it a job, ya its a fun job, but its still a job.
Just like poker. You might get the bad rap, but the most important thig is YOU get the last laugh. and the last one is the best
Is it “just” me or does this article actually sound romantic to you?
There are pros and cons in everything. Im sure if you talked to lawyers, doctors, accountants etc. they would all have things they dislike about their careers. There are certain things we dont particularly like about ourselves as well as the people we have relationships with, however we tolerate those negatives things because of the positives. I think you have to focus on what you enjoy about it because after all it could be worse.
hey dude, stumbled on this pretty late on. Dude, that was an awesome article, and really beautifully written. I don’t know how much writing you have done or what your interests are in it but if this was my article I would send it out to a couple of places to see if they wanted to publish it. It’s a pretty cool feeling to see you own words in print.