I've found that a lot of my poker shortcomings were symptoms of things that had nothing to do with poker. A regular-old shrink really comes in handy. It's turned my career around and made me a better poker player. She doesn't know a thing about poker. She doesn't have to. She's taught me not to take everything personally and to focus on what I need instead of making other people happy. The latter happens on its own if you're a good guy.

The easiest example is raising someone's BB when you open from the SB. If he gets upset because you're not being friendly, let that be his problem. It might even tilt him, which sort of makes it win-win.

I have been playing poker for a little over 6 years. I really only play tournaments and have had no huge financial successes. Nor do I tend to play at the level where huge financial success abounds as a possibility.  I'm running close to even over the past couple of years which is kind of nice.

I do suffer some mild depression from time to time and sometimes this game had brought me to tears and utter despair. Gradually I have become accustom to the ups and downs of the game and have often felt like I'm a "good player out of luck".

I've had a couple of coaches in the past and they have been a tremendous help, one is Matt Hunt who is great to have as a coach and can explain principals in a great understandable way. That's all good, but understanding poker principals and having a good attitude; does that make up a good mental game?  I'm not convinced.

Moving house and study commitments have filled my time over the past 6 months or so and that has meant I've played less poker during that time but made a conscious decision a month or ago so to step poker back up a bit, and got back into listening to podcasts during my one hour each way drive to and from work.

There are some things that I have heard on the "Midstakes living" podcast and read in "The art of Learning" that have really resonated with me, and we all know that there are some "light comes on" moments in our lives and the past couple of weeks have felt like a series of light switching moments where the truth for me, about the mental game has been revealed.

The mental game is far more than learning how to handle loss, or learning to keep your chin up or any one of the single anecdotes that are all worthy to be recited from time to time. It's all about you, it's about understanding the reasons behind the thoughts, the processes  behind the thoughts to check, raise, or fold. Its delving into your thought processes and coming to the root cause of who you are and understanding the platform upon which your thoughts exist. Its understanding the reasons behind checking it down in case you get three bet, or folding AQ to a 10bb shove on the bubble.  It's discovering who you are and how you tick. I've come to believe that without that understanding, poker skills cannot be truly mastered. For some, that is easier than it is for others, and that is ok. For some the work is done before they start playing this game. For others it ends up being a life long journey.

David "The Maven" Chicotsky, my first coach, once said to me in moment of my despair "Brent, poker has nothing to do with you" and he is 100% right. They only thing I can  control at the table is my thought process, and my level of skill leading up to taking a seat at that table.

To become a master at the mental game, first you must become a master of yourself. The rest; well, it has nothing to do with you.