Luckily for me I still had around $500 on full tilt at the time so all was not lost.

Important lesson though. I haven't played a hand of blackjack online since. (live blackjack is still pretty fun though)

I decided to walk away, get a break. take a long extended time off from the scene, from TPE, from everything that had to do with a casino, poker. etc. So guess what I am back. My goal is to focus wholeheartedly to tournament poker. MTT's. No more cash poker, no more casino games. It is just taking myself back the root of MTT poker.

I have vetted my rooms of choice in the US. I am still open to suggestions. I am leaning toward Black Chip Poker (a.k.a. Merge). Living in a state that Online poker is scared of, Kentucky it was a stretch but reached out to them starting through Cougars4444, they are letting me deposit. I am starting with a small roll. Very small roll and working a BR management.

Part of my vetting an online poker room was self-exclusion. Lock needs some help with that one. Bigdog get them to fix that bro. The other part is the games. Merge right now has games around the level that I like to play at the time I can play.

What got me in trouble was my mind. My expectation of where I thought I should have been far exceeded where I actually was. Transparancy is important in this quest. I have decided that my goal for poker is to have fun. Yes...That's right to have fun. I enjoy the community of poker, TPE especially. I want to be better at poker and make my time at the tables worth it. It is about the comradory and the joy of just having the opportunity to play. No need to play that 109 if I don't have it. I need to just enjoy it. I want to raise stakes when my bankroll exceeds correctly. I want to get better at poker don't get me wrong, I do want to definately raise in stakes but raise them with proper management of Bankroll.

Bankroll starting at 20.00. How am I going to do this? Get better but not play on it stupid. I can do it. It is a lofty goal but it is all I have at the moment. If I busto, I busto but I really plan on having fun taking this 20.00 and moving up. Is it lofty? Yes. But you know what? Really, a bad poker player can lose 1000.00 just as quick as a bad poker play with 20.00. With being backed by all the coaches at TPE and my will and effort to play and have fun and improve and do it correctly, then it will all be worth it at the end.

Beginning this week and next week, I will study the videos, read forums, discuss hands. etc. No poker. I can't just hit the felt just yet. Need to be focused. I will one table when I play and really work on the dynamics of each hand. I will opt on not playing with a HUD, don't have time for that. I will play with the HUD off but review hands at the end, study. Make proper edges. Most of all. Have fun. Not go auto  pilot, I want to know why I led, why I raise, flat, fold shove, 3 bet, 4bet, light, dark what have you. I hope that you can get an ounce of enjoyment in getting this done. It will be eventful for me.

Let's goooo!!!!!

"That's all I got to say about that" Forrest Gump ... Now showing my age.