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You know you're a poker player when....
emufart
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December 6, 2011 - 2:46 pm
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You start chip-shuffling $2 coins together while waiting to pay for your energy drink at the diary.

emufart
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December 6, 2011 - 2:52 pm
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After your girlfriend gives you a handjob, you say “nh”

bennymacca
Adelaide Australia
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December 6, 2011 - 4:30 pm
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you date fat chicks to balance your range

 

 

badabing78
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December 6, 2011 - 5:58 pm
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you watch more videos on tpe than on youporn

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RonFezBuddy
New York City

TPE Management
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December 6, 2011 - 7:02 pm
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You get excited when you see the letters AK, AA or KK together, and capitalized in everyday life.

bigheaddave
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December 7, 2011 - 5:00 pm
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you start calling your sisters new boyfriend “all in” instead of allin

hapetimes
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December 7, 2011 - 8:24 pm
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when your friend tells you someones 'dead' you immediately think he has no outs

emufart
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December 8, 2011 - 10:01 pm
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you wear sunglasses and a hoody to the dinner table

chip chimp71
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December 9, 2011 - 1:28 am
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You triple range merge your stock portfolio to confuse and beat the S&P 500!

G0liath
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December 9, 2011 - 1:39 am
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You don’t get angry anymore, you go on ‘life tilt’

hapetimes
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December 12, 2011 - 4:02 am
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When your daughters friend says she went to see the magician you picture antonio esfandiari

cousteer
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December 12, 2011 - 7:30 am
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Badabing….. tpe vids or youporn…. It’s still good to flop the nuts!

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praetor
Madness
High Stakes Mario Kart Propping
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January 3, 2012 - 2:34 am
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“Black Friday” is not the day after Thanksgiving.

"Your either in Sheen's Korner or your with the trolls."

Investpro
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January 8, 2012 - 8:24 pm
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when cooking a pizza you time in levels

Bytie_nl
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January 9, 2012 - 2:54 am
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If, after just waking up, you are firing up the TPE forum right after you made coffee..

In case you are firing it up before that, I'd say you are at the verge of being a maniacal nut, having only one out: the psychiatrical ward… I mean you CAN exaggerate right!

Not even making an exception for RonFezBuddy here lol!

swet1
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January 9, 2012 - 11:21 am
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You practice 'bluffing' on your wife

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RonFezBuddy
New York City

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January 9, 2012 - 12:19 pm
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lol i love this thread

MartinAltman
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January 9, 2012 - 12:59 pm
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 you don't have a sex with your girlfriend, but instead you're pushing it into her.
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praetor
Madness
High Stakes Mario Kart Propping
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January 9, 2012 - 1:21 pm
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When you catch someone in a lie you say “I call”.

 

When you do something stupid your wife, kid girlfriend, etc tell you that you are such a donk.

"Your either in Sheen's Korner or your with the trolls."

emufart
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January 9, 2012 - 5:13 pm
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When you quote Rounders in everyday life.

isaacjames
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January 10, 2012 - 3:35 pm
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LOOOOL awesome.

isaacjames
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January 19, 2012 - 12:34 pm
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You “Date fat chicks to Balance your range” *

 

*copyright Bunner from 2+2 Pokercast

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Killingbird
Cary, NC

TPE Management
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January 19, 2012 - 2:14 pm
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anytime anything unfortunate happens to you your son tells you “dad, you run sooooo bad”.

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praetor
Madness
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January 19, 2012 - 3:53 pm
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You actually know who Phil Hellmuh is. LOL

"Your either in Sheen's Korner or your with the trolls."

bennymacca
Adelaide Australia
Road Gambling with Doyle
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January 19, 2012 - 4:01 pm
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last night i was doing group personal training at the gym, and we were talking about how PT is great because you get pushed a lot harder than what you would otherwise push yourself, and i said, yeah you would have to be a sicko to push that hard by yourself, they didn't really get it

Donskey
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January 19, 2012 - 7:42 pm
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you're paying for goods with change, you stack em up in piles and push them towards the cashier.

Moizt
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January 19, 2012 - 8:06 pm
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The only currency you're aware of is the amount of buyins you're spending on something.

 

Just something I tend to do

Donskey
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January 19, 2012 - 8:12 pm
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You’re fed up of repairing, buying parts or even buying  a new computer (they were never designed to
be thrown across the room) that you keep your computer in a  “Indestructible, impenetrable,  inaccessible, impermeable,
super high tensile, extra strength reinforced  toughened titanium steel cage while you're playing”

isaacjames
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January 19, 2012 - 9:37 pm
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calculate the odds of getting a parking ticket vs. the cost of parking and make a decision to park in a no parking zone because it's +EV in the long run

bennymacca
Adelaide Australia
Road Gambling with Doyle
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January 19, 2012 - 9:58 pm
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i am an electronic engineer so i make ok money, but i once calculated the equity of switching to become a teacher because teachers get 10 weeks of holidays a year that i could spend grinding. 

 

at my current hourly it wouldn't be worth it, but assuming i got better with increased volume, it prolly will be. pity i have a wife and a mortgage otherwise i prolly would go back to uni for a while 😀

rivermen123
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January 31, 2012 - 12:15 pm
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Donskey said:

you're paying for goods with change, you stack em up in piles and push them towards the cashier.

I did this at the gas station last week and started laughing at myself. Probably looked pretty ridiculous.

0lespaul3
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January 31, 2012 - 12:28 pm
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When you wake up and review you tournaments from the night before, BEFORE!!!you even say hi to your spouse.

you start your nightly tourneys on your laptop on the 35min ride home from work

your checking your rankings on the iphone (w/otterbox), while in the shower

u set alarm reminders on your phone stating..(focus, patience,discipline,controlled agression, WIN!)

LOL these are just a FEW of mine!! great thread!

 

terbet11
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March 3, 2012 - 12:15 am
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Actually dreaming of hands played, and talking to yourself about certain hands the night prior you screwed up on while your wife stares at you like you have serious problems. Lol. Great thread guys.

JLUDEOBV
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March 3, 2012 - 12:30 am
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Your significant other asks you what your favorite position is and you reply with, “the button.”

I3betshove
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March 6, 2012 - 10:42 am
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You ask your wife if she wants to play “Stuffy Baker”! laugh

And then you give her the old “Showski and Hutch”! haha

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RonFezBuddy
New York City

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March 6, 2012 - 11:35 am
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JLUDEOBV said:

Your significant other asks you what your favorite position is and you reply with, “the button.”

lololol

terbet11
Balla
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June 30, 2012 - 3:04 am
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you reply “standard” to anyone describing something that didn't work out for them, where they look at you confused….you immediately think to yourself “does that place have wifi” when you are told you are going on a road trip….you yell out “bink” when something good happens….you let your friends know whether they are in +/-ev spots in everyday life situations, where again they look at you confused….you can't look at your watch/phone to see what time it is, and not help know what tourney is about to fire up and whether you can get home to fire up for late reg….

hawkeyeK9
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June 30, 2012 - 4:26 pm
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hahahahaha! Never noticed this thread before.

1Uwant2bdaddy1
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July 24, 2012 - 12:26 pm
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bennymacca said:

you date fat chicks to balance your range

 

ROFLMFAO!

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usedstars
Australia
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July 24, 2012 - 3:33 pm
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You prefer to do your gardening rakefree.

 

Great thread guys. Loved the 'favourite position' one. smile

duggs
nz
Playing The Prelims
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July 24, 2012 - 5:16 pm
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you refer to sex as binking, 

 

you grind through an earthquake whilst everyone else is heading for doorways

Muttley66
Playing Freerolls
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November 26, 2012 - 10:53 am
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I3betshove said:

You ask your wife if she wants to play “Stuffy Baker”! laugh

And then you give her the old “Showski and Hutch”! haha

Is it true that you now “own” the patent to the phrase “stuffy baker” .. If so ..BigDog won't be happy !frown

He'll be even less happy when he finds out i've just succesfully filed a patent for the phrase “Showski and Hutch” yell

If you wish to continue using this phrase you will have to forward me the appropriate royalties.

On this occasion, as i have used your patented phrase in my reply, i reckon they should cancel each other out.laugh

For your information, my patent number is ” LOLROFLMFAO”

Thanks

Muttley66

Will Ramirez
Lighting Money On Fire
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November 27, 2012 - 1:24 am
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When your 8yr old neice gets something she wants, she says ship it.

Absolutely love this thread!

Zhengix_Khaan
Grinding Micros
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February 1, 2013 - 10:00 pm
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when your divorce attorney cross examines your ex wife at a mediation and makes her divulge damaging information about things she had no idea you knew.

 

then you turn to your attorney and say, “You just SOUL OWNED that DONK!”

 

Nqon
High Stakes Shark
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February 2, 2013 - 2:43 am
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When you refer to getting rejected at bars to running bad.

Check out my "going pro" poker journal, updated weekly with wins, losses and my progress as a player:

Click here

Zhengix_Khaan
Grinding Micros
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February 2, 2013 - 9:19 am
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you and your friends openly tell the world youre railing another guy on twitter….

bennymacca
Adelaide Australia
Road Gambling with Doyle
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June 25, 2013 - 7:00 am
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you are beginning to like the rock version of the katy perry song, even though you heard it 3 times today at the end of the TPE live podcast

EllDan
Wilkes-Barre, Pa
Midstakes Master
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August 15, 2013 - 10:26 pm
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Instead of your kids saying “Good Night”, they say “Run Good Daddy”.

 

Your wife nolonger complains about the gatorade bottle on the floor next to the computer.

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Killingbird
Cary, NC

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August 15, 2013 - 10:55 pm
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lol.  those are both gold.  I think I need to publish a bunch of these as an article on the site…so keep em coming!!

bennymacca
Adelaide Australia
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August 15, 2013 - 11:13 pm
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I was talking to a friend the other day about how i was bartering with a shop keeper, and he gave me a really good deal so i snap-called, they didnt get it.

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